Episode 23
Leveling Up to Middle School
Navigating the transition from fifth grade to sixth grade can evoke a plethora of emotions for both students and their parents, often characterized by a sense of trepidation regarding the impending changes. This episode elucidates the multifaceted nature of this significant educational shift, where students encounter a new academic environment with distinct expectations and responsibilities. We are joined by esteemed school counseling experts, Barbara Truluck and Lauren Oden, who provide invaluable insights into the logistical and emotional aspects of this transition. They discuss the importance of fostering independence, the nuances of class selection, and the critical role of organization and routine. Furthermore, they emphasize the necessity of understanding the social dynamics that emerge during this pivotal stage, thereby equipping parents with the knowledge to support their children in this transformative journey.
Guests:
Barbara Truluck, Middle Schools Counseling Consultant
Lauren Oden, School Counselor, Maybry Middle School
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Takeaways:
- Transitioning from elementary school to middle school presents significant challenges for both students and parents.
- Students in sixth grade experience increased academic rigor and greater responsibility for their own learning.
- Middle school students have limited choices in core classes but can select connections classes that interest them.
- Establishing a consistent routine, including organization and sleep, greatly contributes to a student's success in middle school.
Transcript
Nervous about your fifth grader moving up to middle school?
Speaker A:That's up next on the Inside Scoop.
Speaker A:Hello and welcome back to the Inside Scoop.
Speaker A:I'm David Owen.
Speaker A:A student's graduation from the comfortable world of elementary school to head into the challenges of middle school can be a scary time for parents and students alike.
Speaker A:But don't fret.
Speaker A:We have two insiders who can help guide the way.
Speaker A:They are.
Speaker A:Lauren Oden, our school counselor at Mabry Middle.
Speaker A:And back for a second, second time, Barbara Cherluck, who is the Cobb Middle School consultant.
Speaker A:Welcome to the podcast.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker A:You guys are.
Speaker A:And Barbara, you know, the podcast is one of those things that, that parents appreciate being able to find those nuances of a circumstance, such as sending their, their child up to middle school.
Speaker A:But sometimes it's just a matter of some of the logistics.
Speaker A:So when we're talking about a fifth grader going up to the middle school building and years, do they get to choose their own classes or do they experience the same situation that they had in elementary school with the classes just being present?
Speaker A:Here are your classes.
Speaker A:Tell us about that aspect.
Speaker C:Well, that is one of the biggest transitions coming from the elementary school to the middle school.
Speaker C:And that's one of the questions.
Speaker C:Do I get to choose all my own classes?
Speaker C:So the answer is yes and no.
Speaker C:So I'm going to let Lauren elaborate on that.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:So she's right.
Speaker B:Yes and no.
Speaker B:The academic core classes students are not able to select on their own.
Speaker B:It's based on the grading criteria that all of these schedulers have, and if they meet those qualifications.
Speaker B:But the really cool part is they get a little tiny bit of ownership early on in middle school.
Speaker B:They get to choose our connections classes.
Speaker B:They're used to specials in elementary school, like the health or the music PE Classes in middle school, we call them connections.
Speaker B:So they have lots of things that they can be exposed to, like robotics and study skills and health and PE all the things.
Speaker B:And art.
Speaker B:So they can choose to be in a music program.
Speaker B:So most Cobb county schools have band, orchestra, and chorus.
Speaker B:So if they want to pursue that route, they absolutely can and sign up all year.
Speaker B:And then the rest of their connections will just be scheduled on a rotating semester basis.
Speaker A:So they, like you said, they own it a little more.
Speaker A:It's not quite at the university level where it's just wide open.
Speaker A:And here are the classes.
Speaker A:Which one do you want?
Speaker A:But, man, that's got to be either overwhelming to them or really empowering.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Is there any insight on that?
Speaker B:And it could be A combination, especially with new sixth graders.
Speaker B:They are trying to find who they are and figure out the new big building.
Speaker B:And they're a little scared and nervous, but that's why we're here to help them guide and work along sixth grade teachers.
Speaker B:But they really do feel a little empowered.
Speaker B:Like you said, it's the first time they've gotten to choose a class, so they get a little excited.
Speaker B:And we really encourage students in sixth grade to try out all the music programs because that's where they meet a good chunk of their new friends because they're with them all year.
Speaker B:And it's a really good, you know, kind of circle widening process for them.
Speaker B:And they get to learn a new skill too.
Speaker A:So we're talking about anxiety producing memories.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:It's going back into the last century for mine.
Speaker A:But the first day it seemed like it was a big challenge getting to understand the technology known as lockers.
Speaker C:Yes.
Speaker A:And to some extent I remember that excited feeling of, wow, this is just like what they have at the high school.
Speaker A:This is big kid stuff.
Speaker A:Do students still take their locks to school or how does that all get resolved?
Speaker C:It's so funny because that is one of the biggest stressors with our elementary students moving up to sixth grade.
Speaker C:It is still a thing.
Speaker C:I would say that that first week, it is the biggest stressor.
Speaker C:So, you know, they do not need to bring their own lock.
Speaker C:All of our lockers in Cobb county have a combination on it.
Speaker C:So that first week of school, they're going to be assigned a locker, they're going to be given their combination, and there's lots of help to teach them how to get in and out of the locker.
Speaker A:So they still have to learn how to do the combination.
Speaker A:I remember that just being a huge stressor for all of us nowadays.
Speaker A:There is a.
Speaker A:And I got to stop using that term nowadays.
Speaker A:That's a real telling sign right there.
Speaker A:Cell phones are such a huge thing today.
Speaker A:So what is the policy on cell phones in middle schools?
Speaker A:I don't even know if there is an issue.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:Well, there is an issue in elementary.
Speaker A:Some kids are given an iPhone, whatever, when they are born, I guess.
Speaker A:How does that all work?
Speaker C:Every middle school has their own cell phone policy.
Speaker C:And the one thing that I do want to stress with parents, your sixth grader does not need a cell phone.
Speaker C:So oftentimes they'll say, you know, middle school, now it's time to get a cell phone.
Speaker C:So that is not true.
Speaker C:They do not need to bring a cell phone to middle school.
Speaker C:However, Each school does have their own policy.
Speaker C:So Lauren, what you want to tell us about yours?
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:So we at Mabry have the bring your own device policy.
Speaker B:So we do allow students to bring a cell phone into school.
Speaker A:Sorry to interrupt.
Speaker A:But bring your own device is where you actually use your device for educational purposes, right?
Speaker B:Correct.
Speaker B:It kind of started before.
Speaker B:Obviously we have the Cobb county provided laptops that we offer now, which is honestly kind of taken away the need for having a cell phone at school.
Speaker B:So like Barbara said, some of the, you know, excited sixth graders want to have a cell phone and they like to tell their parents that it's required, but we promise you it's not.
Speaker B:And you can.
Speaker B:The parents can opt in to receive the county provided school laptop, which is what they will use all day, every day in classes, and they get to keep that laptop until they graduate high school.
Speaker B:So we really promote that because it of giving away the need of having a cell phone.
Speaker A:Okay, well that makes perfect sense.
Speaker A:I mean, that's.
Speaker A:Controlling cell phones is a huge issue today.
Speaker A:And I even know of a middle school nearby that has banned the use of them.
Speaker A:Students show up with them and they pouch them and don't get them back.
Speaker C:Most of our middle schools have moved to that now.
Speaker C:They really have, where it's not seen or heard.
Speaker C:So it needs to be powered off, stowed away in the locker or backpack, and not out during the day.
Speaker C:So that really is the now, because cell phones can be such a distraction to the learning environment and that's why we're there to learn.
Speaker A:And then the kids work around that with these smartwatches that connect to the device that's way over there.
Speaker C:Yes, exactly.
Speaker A:Okay, so what about.
Speaker A:I don't know if this is still an issue.
Speaker A:Well, of course it is dress code in schools.
Speaker A:Some of these kids show up school with blue jeans that look like they're just survived a bear attack and others are like, I want to be the next executive president of whatever.
Speaker A:So are there standards across the district or how is dress code managed in the schools?
Speaker B:It's a great question.
Speaker B:We know sometimes it can be another anxiety inducing thing coming to middle school, but the county does have a district wide policy for dress code.
Speaker B:So what we in the middle school really encourage you to do and parents to do is just to check with your local school, check with the administration and the principal on how that district policy is implemented, and then they will tell you all the things at the open houses when they come for orientation this summer.
Speaker B:So that's really the best time to learn about all the dress code policies.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:And that's an excellent point that each of the schools do usually have some sort of day of addressing some of these details in school life.
Speaker C:I mean, what we ask is that parents don't send their, you know, child to school.
Speaker C:You know, that it's going to be a distraction.
Speaker C:You know, we're about the learning environment.
Speaker C:So anything that's distracting to the learning environment probably is a.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:All right.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:And no Gucci bags or anything like that.
Speaker C:Okay, well, we still see that.
Speaker B:I still see them.
Speaker B:We want them to dress for success every day.
Speaker C:We still see the designer, you know, and what's the big.
Speaker C:The Stanley.
Speaker C:Stanley cups, you know, that's very popular to bring just the color.
Speaker C:And the right color has to match.
Speaker B:Your outfit has to be maybe a pastel color.
Speaker A:Yikes.
Speaker A:That's awesome.
Speaker C:All the things as a guy.
Speaker A:Okay, so now that we've talked about all the right dress and.
Speaker A:And color and stuff, let's go to something that actually it happens at elementary, middle and high, and that is sports.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:In general, they're parents who as soon as their child can walk, they get them into some form of sport.
Speaker A:What is the scene like at the middle school level relating to, like, say, football for middle school students?
Speaker C:That's another great question.
Speaker C:And we get that all the time from parents and students.
Speaker C:Do the middle schools have their own sports teams?
Speaker C:So in other words, does Mabry or Palmer or Lost Mountain have their own?
Speaker C:And then they play other Cobb county schools.
Speaker C:So the junior sports teams are not affiliated with the Cobb county school district, but our students do play on those.
Speaker C:On, you know, the junior teams.
Speaker C:And where you find out about those is through the athletic websites for the high schools.
Speaker A:Oh, o.
Speaker A:So they got their own farm system going is what.
Speaker C:That's the best place to find that information out.
Speaker C:Go to the high school athletic websites and they will have junior sports information there.
Speaker C:A lot of times they practice on Cobb county school facilities.
Speaker C:They play games, but they're not like an after school for each middle school program.
Speaker A:Official program.
Speaker C:Exactly.
Speaker A:The property.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker C:Yep.
Speaker A:Very cool.
Speaker C:We really do encourage, you know, students to get involved in sports.
Speaker C:It's such a great way.
Speaker C:It's such a great outlet, you physical activity, a great way to make friends.
Speaker C:Just like Lauren said, to kind of find your crowd.
Speaker C:Just really encourage parents to get their kids involved in those sports programs, especially since they feed into the high school.
Speaker C:So if they really want to play sports in high school, starting on those junior teams is the best way to go.
Speaker A:So when it comes to just the overall experience of moving up from that cuddly elementary school experience into a middle school environment, some kids, I'm sure, are just chomping at the bed.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:But other kids are like, overwhelmed.
Speaker A:I would assume you're in the school.
Speaker A:So tell us a little, Lauren, about what you have seen firsthand.
Speaker A:How do they.
Speaker A:Or what hurdles do they encounter when they make that move up?
Speaker A:And what progress have you seen?
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:And we, you know, as middle school counselors, like, we, we hear and see it all, and that's why we're here, because we know there's lots of different emotions and it could be different one day to the next.
Speaker B:When they first transition, we know it's a big jump.
Speaker B:So we are here to kind of walk with them every step of the way.
Speaker B:But one of the biggest hurdles that they need to kind of adjust to starting out that first year is just adjusting to the academic rigor and the workload.
Speaker B:So they are not used to, you know, maybe having homework every night or even if they do the homework is not graded.
Speaker B:When you come to sixth grade, it is.
Speaker B:So that's a big shock to their system.
Speaker B:And they, you know, lots of anxiety and, oh, my goodness, I'm gonna fail all my classes.
Speaker B:And the panic.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:But it's just one step at a time.
Speaker B:That's a huge adjustment that they've got to face that hurdle.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And nobody is holding their hand as they're doing it.
Speaker A:They gotta own it somewhat.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:It's a balance.
Speaker B:We want them to own it.
Speaker B:And we do realize they're 11 and 12.
Speaker B:They're not four.
Speaker B:So we want to give them a little bit of the ownership and to self advocate.
Speaker B:But we also know they are 11 and 12.
Speaker B:So we're gonna walk with them, especially in the early stages of the year.
Speaker B:And then by this time, you know, my frequent flyers in the counseling office who really struggle with the anxiety and worry in August, I don't see them as much anymore.
Speaker B:So it's just the natural course of the year.
Speaker A:That's gotta be gratifying.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:To see them, you know, maybe sputter a little bit at the beginning.
Speaker A:And then you're like, wait a minute, they haven't been in here in a while.
Speaker C:They start to build that independence.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So responsibility with some grace is a way to describe that.
Speaker A:So how can parents.
Speaker A:There's a lot of information here that I think is awesome.
Speaker A:How can parents take this information and really practically apply this?
Speaker C:There's a lot of things that parents can do to help ease them into success in middle school.
Speaker C:The first thing is we always encourage our parents to go to all the open houses, Go to those preview days with your student, get on the school campus and walk around the hall so the child becomes more comfortable with that.
Speaker C:Also just telling them that, you know, everybody's new, so they're all experiencing this together and so, you know, not to be quite so afraid.
Speaker C:You're all in this together.
Speaker C:You're gonna make great new friends and great new experiences and keep it positive.
Speaker C:Right.
Speaker C:Organization that is really key to success in middle school.
Speaker C:Most of our students attend six to seven classes a day.
Speaker C:So keeping that backpack, I always encourage parents the night before school, get that backpack organized and by the door, ready to head out in the morning.
Speaker C:So we're not running around in the morning stressed, trying to find everything.
Speaker A:As nerdy as it sounds, it really works.
Speaker C:It is.
Speaker C:And like Lauren touched on, so many of our students are in music programs, so they have to keep up with an instrument.
Speaker C:So that's another thing.
Speaker C:So just keeping that organization routine is really important.
Speaker C:You know, a bedtime, you know, get up the same time every morning, that routine, and really, that it causes stability, and students really thrive on that.
Speaker A:So you just mentioned something that's really, I guess, near and dear to my heart.
Speaker A:Sleep, sleep, sleep.
Speaker A:Sleep is so important, at least our household is experienced, that it's really hard to get a middle schooler to settle down and make themselves lie there long enough to go to sleep.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:So how is it?
Speaker A:Is it just me, or is that a broader issue in students and learning?
Speaker C:It is.
Speaker C:So many times we see students coming into school, you know, they've had three or four hours sleep, sometimes even less than that, two hours of sleep at night.
Speaker C:And so, you know, you'll ask the student, you know, why did you only get two hours of sleep last night?
Speaker C:Oh, I was up playing video games.
Speaker C:Oh, I was on my phone.
Speaker C:I couldn't sleep.
Speaker C:And that seems to be the standard answer.
Speaker C:When they can't sleep, they reach for technology, which is one of the worst things that you could do.
Speaker A:Exactly.
Speaker C:So we really encourage parents to get the technology out of the bedroom at night.
Speaker C:So our teens, you know, middle schoolers, they need their sleep.
Speaker C:They need a good eight hours of sleep.
Speaker C:So they come to school ready to learn and ready to handle the stressors throughout the day.
Speaker C:We know when we're sleep deprived, you know, it's hard to function.
Speaker C:So, Lauren, you were saying, you know, that's one of the first Questions you ask students when they come in and they're upset in the morning.
Speaker B:Middle school life as a counselor.
Speaker B:The first question when somebody is crying, emotionally unstable, stressed out, panic attack is how many hours of sleep did you get last night?
Speaker B:And have you eaten breakfast or lunch depending on the time of day.
Speaker B:And if both of those answers are no, then we gotta focus on the physical needs first before we can deal with any of the emotional piece.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And when you're talking about breakfast, I mean a pop tart or a donut does not constitute breakfast.
Speaker A:You gotta get some protein in there to keep the brain going.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker C:All these basics, it's about the well being of the whole child and we need you to come to school and ready to go.
Speaker A:As far as the gaming side goes, technology.
Speaker A:In my case I'm with at&t on our Internet and they have an app that allows me to shut their connectivity to the Internet down on their cell phone or a gaming system at a certain time.
Speaker C:Right.
Speaker A:So that has been a real lifesaver for us from that standpoint.
Speaker A:You gotta be that tough parent every now and then, right?
Speaker C:You do.
Speaker C:You have to set those boundaries at home, you know, limit the screen time.
Speaker C:We see so much now that has come out in the last couple of years about social media and you know, all of the addiction that goes with that and just spending so many hours on it and students mental health, how it's negatively affecting their mental health.
Speaker C:So setting those boundaries is really important.
Speaker C:We encourage parents, there's on Common sense website, there's like parental agreements that you can have with your student, you know, with your child and set those boundaries.
Speaker C:But it's really, really important, especially with the cell phone addiction that we're seeing.
Speaker A:Gotta end the day.
Speaker C:Yep, that's right.
Speaker B:And we know, I think parents feel very overwhelmed, especially new first time middle school parents, they feel defeated already before they walk in the door because they feel like they're fighting a never ending battle of the screen time.
Speaker B:And that's why there's so many res available that we from the counseling standpoint push out as much as we can.
Speaker B:We bring in speakers to talk about it, we do anything we can because it's important.
Speaker B:And like Barbara said, it's an epidemic and our kids are feeling it.
Speaker B:So really the main theme of middle school is just resiliency and balance.
Speaker B:So we need them to have both.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:I think another huge part of middle school is navigating friendships.
Speaker B:So this is the fun part, another part.
Speaker A:No, this is the main part.
Speaker A:Academics are secondary in their minds.
Speaker B:In their minds, you are 100% correct.
Speaker B:It is all about friends.
Speaker B:It's about, you know, if you think about it, if you break it down, they're in a new building.
Speaker B:It's big.
Speaker B:They're meeting tons of new people.
Speaker B:They might have some of their friends from elementary school that rolled up to the middle school with them, but everybody's kind of growth journey is different and they're on a different pace.
Speaker B:And some of them want to create a whole new identity in sixth grade and maybe their friendships start changing and us as middle school counselors get the phone calls from parents going, oh, my goodness, I don't know who they're hanging out with anymore.
Speaker B:Who is my child?
Speaker B:That's normal.
Speaker B:They're learning who they are.
Speaker B:And that's why we encourage joining sports, joining music programs, getting involved in clubs, because they need to learn what they're passionate about and what maybe skill set that they can apply in the future.
Speaker B:But it's the fun part of counseling in middle school.
Speaker A:And as a parent, I would say allowing them within certain constraints to fail, to not fail a class, but understand what the boundaries are, make your decision, and then reflect on that gently.
Speaker A:You know, if it falls apart, what can you learn from that?
Speaker A:And how can you not experience that heartache or whatever.
Speaker C:It's teaching them that resiliency to the bounce back.
Speaker C:You know, some days aren't going to be as good as other days, but we, you know, start each day fresh and new.
Speaker C:But teaching resiliency is really important, especially with this generation.
Speaker C:They struggle a little bit with that and.
Speaker C:And there's many reasons.
Speaker C:Maybe social media, I don't know.
Speaker A:And that was the podcast she was on, which, by the way, was amazingly insightful.
Speaker A:I would advise go back and take a look at, especially at this age group, middle school, you need to look at that podcast and I'll see if we can put the link somewhere.
Speaker A:If it's on YouTube, it would be up here.
Speaker A:But some great insights on ways to allow them access to some things and forego it until a later time in life for other things.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Well, ladies, thank you so much.
Speaker A:Barbara, you're always a joy.
Speaker A:And Lauren, great to meet you.
Speaker B:You too.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker A:It's good to know we've got people like you out in the schools.
Speaker C:Absolutely.
Speaker C:Absolutely.
Speaker C:Doing the good work out there.
Speaker C:Those school counselors.
Speaker A:What would we do if we didn't have.
Speaker A:The parenting would be a lot harder, I can tell you that.
Speaker A:If you found something helpful in this conversation, make sure you share it with someone you know.
Speaker A:And of course, give us a like, make sure you're subscribed and click that notification bell so you don't miss out on the next podcast.
Speaker A:Thank you for listening to this edition of the Inside Scoop, a podcast produced by the Cobb County School.
